


Totally Legit

by DeerlyQueery



Category: South Park, South Park The Fractured but Whole (Game)
Genre: Cartman Being Cartman, Kissing, M/M, random drabble, spoilers?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-28
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2019-02-07 20:51:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12849273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeerlyQueery/pseuds/DeerlyQueery
Summary: *SPOILERS TO THE FRACTURED BUT WHOLE VIDEO GAME*During the scene where both Cartman and Kyle are being Mitch Connor, Cartman has an idea to convince everyone that he's definitely not lying...





	Totally Legit

**Author's Note:**

> Be prepared for shitty boredom writing.

          "Stop lying, Cartman!" Kyle yelled, frustration obvious in the young jew. "We know you're Mitch Connor! Just admit it already!!"

          Cartman, however, continued to feign innocent. "Kyle, guys, I'm serious! I'm not making this up!" He insisted. Kyle was quick to snap back.

          "You are Mitch Connor, you've always been Mitch Connor, and you'd better stop right fucking now!" A voice made them both pause.

          "Then how do you explain this, Kahl?" Drawled the lazy voice of none other than Mitch Connor who had appeared on Kyle's hand. After a pause to let this sink in, he continued. "Well well well, the plot thickens."

          "That's not funny, Kyle." Cartman said, annoyed by this blatant attempt to get him to admit to lying. 

          Kyle looked between Cartman and his hand. "I'm not doing it." he said, convincingly uncertain. After bickering and punching each other about whether or not Kyle was now lying and trying to get Cartman to admit to his involvement with all of this, he'd had enough. He fought valiantly against Kyle's Connor but to no avail. He was easily  defeated due to the blatant cheating. 

         "God damn, you guys! This isn't fair!" He yelled, frustrated. 

         "I'll say." Said a familiar voice and one of Cartman's hands was none other than...  Another Mitch Connor! "Well well well, good to see you again, Mitch from an alternate universe." He drawled.

         "Ah, god fucking dammit." Kyle simply put.

         Thinking fast, Cartman glared. "This means you totally are lying, you dirty jew!" He accused, Kyle glaring. 

         "Don't belittle my people, dammit! And you're the one lying!" He retorted. Just what Cartman had wanted him to say.

          "If I was lying, would I do... This?" Using the Mitch Connor hand Cartman rather suddenly grabbed Kyle's arm and pulled him in for a deep kiss, albeit this raccoon mask got in the way quite a bit. After recovering from the shock, Kyle shoved him back, face red with a dark blush, goal to expose Cartman's lies forgotten. 

          "What the hell was that for, fatass?!" He choked out, lost for words. 

          Cartman simply pretended to gag and choke. "Fuck you, Mitch Connor!! Why the hell did you make me kiss that dirty-ass jew?!" He questioned, Mitch Connor replying with a laugh. His explanation was cut off, however, as Kyle punched Cartman in the gut, leaving The Coon doubled over in pain. 

          "Screw you, Cartman. I'm going home." He huffed and turned, walking away. The other Freedom Pals waited, watching Cartman's pain rather guiltily, before going to telling the townsfolk about Mitch Connor's lies.

          After a minute to recover from the harsh blow, Cartman sat up, staring in the direction Kyle had gone. "Stupid dense jew..."

**Author's Note:**

> Eyyyy hope you enjoyed this crappy fic! I lowkey thought one of them would use this idea to convince the others they had Mitch Connor. Either way, got bored and wanted to flesh out this idea!


End file.
